my god!!!!!since im working for xbox 360,i dont advice you guys to buy that one!!it sucks!!!

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen... A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.' 'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.' The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: 'You know what? Barbers do not exist.' 'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!' 'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.' 'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.' 'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world

The one thing I like about being a girl is that we can always retreat to our childhood ways and it wouldn't really matter to anyone... You see, last monday i was in trinoma and I happen to see a story book that really got my attention... it was story book about the Disney princesses and at once I got hold of it, read and scanned through it i immediately bought 3 books... one for me, (yes! Laugh all you want) and the other two for my two closest friends who happen to share my love for the Disney princesses.

It's really funny because I and my barkada have this penchant for the Disney princesses. Let's admit it, all women want to become princesses once in their lives, and for some of us, it would never happen that's we try to associate ourselves with the beautiful cartoon characters we see in television. I particularly want to be Belle from beauty and the beast, probably because she is so beautiful and exquisite, not to mention that she's hardworking and smart, plus the fact that her love for family is by far the greatest thing In her heart... well, maybe the secondary reason why I think I'm like belle is because I always fall in love with a beast!!! Whether by plain appearance or by their attitude... though I'm not so fortunate enough to have had a beast transform into a prince charming like belle, my hopes are still up for finding one.

As I went home today, I sat on a chair and began to read the few lines written in it... and you never guessed what it made me realize. I know the book was published for young girls ages 4-10 but I wouldn't have thought that I could associate my life with it... it was a good read to tell you honestly and it brought me to countless realizations that by the end of the book, I felt a tear fell from my eyes... so now, I'm writing what was written in that book and I will tell you what I realized from it all...

guys!!

 

just add my two accounts in multiply more blogs from me

It does.

WE are confronted with changes we sometimes don't wanna deal with. Nor live with.  But we have to.  Luckily, with the passing of time, we find reasons for the things that happened in our life.  Sometimes.

Most of the time, we are caught in between awkward situations like travelling without a map... unfamiliar of the place... then, somewhere, the road has forked.  We either take the left or the right.  And our choices are guided by our instincts.. sometimes, by asking directions... and could be by rationality... but often, by just taking chances, hoping and wishing we are trudging the right path. 

As we walk through the trail we've chosen, we could only do much.  We take small steps... big steps... uncertain of what lies ahead.  Yet we keep going with a compass inside our head... some times, following the beatings of our hearts.  In our journey, we sometimes take a wrong turn.  And so, we go back and find the right way.  But at times, we are left with no option but to carry on no matter how unsure we are.  As often said, we just let tomorrow take care of itself.  And so we persevere as we listen to that little voice buzzing inside our head.

And so it is with life. With growing up.  Certain things happen we never thought would, like finding yourself in a new clique when you used to think that your high school friends were the only ones you'd share secrets with and have sleepovers with.  And so we are pushed to let go of the things we fear to lose - those familiar walls... our comfort zones... plans - and only then that some things start to make sense.  

In the process of growing up, like changes, mistakes are inevitable.  We commit numerous lapses and it's how we handle them that defines the outcome - will they make or break us? 

This isn't the same now with what we used to do: run to our moms when something goes wrong... ask our dads to fix our toys when we can't do it... throw tantrums when we can't get what we want... cry when somebody makes fun of us. 

Unlike yesterday, now we are expected to fight back.  To stand on our own two restless feet.  To look after and take of ourselves. To lick our own wounds. 

To grow up allows us to see things we refused to see.  Then, we come to know the world that's the exact opposite of what our naïve minds used to perceive.  We come to define things in a less fashionable manner.  Friends no longer mean having each other's back.  Now, there's ‘friends with benefit. ‘  And trust is a major issue.  People seem to enjoy masquerade.  One moment they're like fallen angels minus the halo; the next, they're that venomous serpent waiting for that time when they could attack you - with or without you knowing it. 

Growing up hurts.  It really does.  Now we come to know that there's always something in between black and white. 

Perhaps I now understand (or at least trying to) why Julius Caesar had to cross that River.  But while he had the invasion of the ancient Rome in his mind, mine's a little different.  Or way too different and a little similar. 

There could be so many instances in a person's life when s/he reaches the point of no return.  Regardless of the underlying reasons, the thing is, bridges have been burned.  And while you can look back, you can never go back. 

Perhaps it's the fear. Perhaps the pain.  Perhaps it's that instance when you realize you have too much of a thing and your sole option is to say "ENOUGH" and move on with your f*cking life.  In the process of moving on, too many bottles of Red Horse or shots of Jose Cuervo (or whatever is your weapon of choice), come in very handy ‘coz as they say only in intoxication that you become pure.  And it's only when you're at the episode of inebriation that everything is permissible.  Go ahead, cry! And go on laugh at the same time.  Rant.  Rave.  Dance.  Think not of the headaches later on.  Let Advil take care of that. 

Then again, when every drop of alcohol has been washed away and lost its power over your sanity, you are back with the penetrating pain of having loved and lost - a job, a dream, a relationship, or whatsoever.  Then the inevitability of dealing with all the craps of anguish is there yet again.  Nevertheless, it's better than having to deal with rotten hope. 

 "Magiging writer ka na lang ba?" Ask that question if you want me to get pissed. I get ballistic whenever someone underrates what I do. Why do people always have this concept that writing is as easy as ABC? Well, I say writing is difficult. It is more than just sitting in front of the computer and hitting the keyboard. We, "writers", do researches and interviews. Most of the time, we have to be strategic in squeezing out information from sources before we can produce outputs. We have to be charmingly articulate to convince people to spill out the beans. And contrary to what others think, we do Math. Yes, Math! We need to transmit ideas clearly in 900 words. See, writing is like an equation. Plus, a writer's inquisitive mind never ceases to function even after office hours. So who says writing is easy?

But honestly, I had not thought about becoming a writer when I was younger. I still remember when adults used to ask me, "Ano ang gusto mong maging paglaki mo?" I would pompously say I want to become a doctor, or a lawyer, or be anyone who earns bags of cash. I used to think absurdly when I was a kid: I'll be filthy rich, and I'll be king of the world! Depressingly they were not feasible, so I just rounded off my ambitions to becoming an educator. So I developed a yearning for teaching and inspiring students. Teachers make all professions possible, I consoled myself. But I changed my mind - even how badly I wanted teaching - when I learned that it can generate only enough salary for survival.

Before I decided what degree to pursue, my aunt proposed I take Medical studies. Though I would look good in a nursing uniform, I declined. I can't imagine isolating myself for months in the hospita;. Though monetary benefits and travel is tempting, Nursing studies would be my last resort. I also dismissed the thought of taking up Engineering or other technological programs which demand a higher level of mathematical analyses. I might lose my sanity.  Nope, the program I'm taking will not make me filthy rich just what I planned. But I decided that this time, I must hold on to what I want to do. After all, it is not difficult to excel in the field that we choose. We get to bag our own "little achievements" without making our noses bleed.

I'm not saying that aiming high is bad. What's frustrating is that no matter how hard we try to reach our goals, be someone we want to be, we always end up doing something else and becoming somebody else.

As I have grown older I have come to learn compassion is something to mature into and is not readily acquired. Compassion is cultivated like the pearl that comes from an oyster. The pearl is refined in the darken womb of the oyster over time, as compassion is empathy cultivated through the exercise of lived experiences that have been overshadowed by the power and intensity that has been shaped and purified by the fire of pain. It becomes the ultimate expansion and expression of unselfish love. It is also the outreach of personal growth where adept wisdom is brought forth from the intiative self that sheds the light of heightened awareness that directly comes from the heart.

The expectation I learned in my youth was to be self-reliant and independent. Unknowingly my resentment would eventually grow into deep bitterness and anger. My animosity would take me years to reconcile and integrate. Through a lot of therapy, self-understanding and eventual maturity, I would start to unravel the frostbite of my past and my attitudes that had hardened through the years.

I have come to learn the very things I once most resented have become my greatest resource for learning from.Life weaves hidden messages within every situation. The task is deciphering the gift of those messages in-between the unread lines.

In life I have come to expect the unexpected. We are taught to live within pockets of comfort zones that truly, in the end, don't exist. My greatest stability in life must come from within myself

life is very, very precious, and i understand that nothing should ever be taken for granted. Resentment can still cut into me, reminding me like a good barometer, when I need my own space. Compassion is created by the harvest of a sound consciousness as it strives to understand the indifference, not just within the world, but also from within one's self. Now I understand the term, "My heart is full."

i wish i had Superman's silly red sheet that i may see the whole world without a fuss [no visas, no passport, no plane tickets, and all that]... i wish i were Ariel [you know, the one who sang, "Look at this stuff..." then, i wouldn't have to struggle learning how to swim]... i wish i were Cinderella [then, rats wouldn't scare the hell out of me]... i wish i were snow white ["to be the fairest one of all..."]... i wish i were Belle [and dance with the beast the whole night and tame his wounded heart]... i wish i were Rapunzel [then, i wouldn't have a bad hair day anymore]... i wish i were a caterpillar [but soon to metamorphose into a lovely butterfly. Well, just wanna know how it feels to change into something really different from what you are right now and embrace a new life]... i wish i were chloe sullivan in smallville series [wow, imagine me working in The Daily Planet! Hmmmmm -eyes rolling-]... i wish i were Martina Hingis [Wimbledon, oh-lala!]... i wish i were Anne Hathaway [now, im thinking for my next pose in my upcoming photo shoot]... i wish i were kelly clarkson [then, i wouldnt have to settle for my immobile and lifeless audience inside a four-walled room]... i wish i had Ate Anne's beauty and confidence [love's u cuz Oh my, the crown, the crown!]... i wish i had my anam cara's heart [and be always forgiving... Au, you always make me feel special]...i wish i had Sir Alex's or Ana Neri's flair in poetry [that i may finally finish my dream book]... at the extreme side, i wish i were the President [and declare martial law]... whatta!


and lastly, i wish i had aladdin's magic lamp and ask Gennie to wake me up and stop dreaming coz the sight of my pending works is burning a hole in my face...haha

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" - Bob Marley

At 23 and waddling through my so-called quarter-life crisis, I think it's now time to examine the characteristics that a quarter-life crisis may include (from Wiki) and analyze where I am at and how I am doing. Let's begin:

• Feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level - PASSED! I found a job I sooooo love and am planning to stick with it for a couple more years. (hmmm thinking again)
• Frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career - PASSED! Moved on from the call center industry then I got rid of people I don't need in my life and kept the ones I will cherish for all eternity.
• Confusion of identity - PROCESSING! Honestly, I still don't know why I am attracted to females more than the opposite sex. LOL! (kidding)
• Insecurity regarding the near future - DELIBERATING! Although I am quite compensated with my family in leyte, I still don't want to become the bread winner of my future family, so yeah... go figure.
• Insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals - PROCESSING! sigh***
• Insecurity regarding present accomplishments - Somehow I think this does not apply to me. Hmm.
• Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - PASSED! I got rid of the unwanted [shady] characters in my life and am enjoying the circle of friends I have as well as found my great love. Ayeee.
• Disappointment with one's job - CHALLENGED! Although, frustrations are inevitable when dealing with team members, I find it challenging to be able to get things done and right!
• Nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life - Hardly ever. The hospital world is a bitch, alright... but I wouldn't want to go through the pains and merciless taunting back in school.
• Tendency to hold stronger opinions - BINGO! "I think, therefore, I am." Sometimes I come out intimidating and rude just because I insist on my own beliefs and often I have to defend myself because people judge me so unfairly. Geez.
• Boredom with social interactions - N/A. With Facebook, Multiply, Friendster, and the rest of the cyberworld's social networking services, my cyber and real social lives are intact.
• Loss of closeness to high school and college friends - NO ISSUE HERE. I am still in contact with MOST of them... There were only 42 of us in high school and most of my college friends are basically, my Barks & Co. :)
  
• Financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) - PASSED! What a wise move it was to move own my own!!! No regrets here! I lived [independently] in Cebu for 9 years and I must say it was a great learning experience, financially-speaking. Now that I am leaving own my own, I can very well say it's the best decision I've ever made in my life, so far.
• Loneliness - CURABLE! I only experience this when Mike isn't around but, nevertheless, my Barks are with me . So I'm doing just fine.
• Desire to have children - WORKING ON IT! I never really thought making babies literally was difficult. Now I know timing is the key. God willing! I do want to have kids.
• A sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you - PASSED! I am so over this. This might be true for some; and now I can't help but feel that some are jealous of me and want to put me down. LOSERS!!! Well, it sucks to be them.

I have lived in the "real world" and I have felt blood rushing through my veins as I feel life's energy flow in and out of me. Winning and losing were never the issues. It's really about surviving. Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg. So true. And I just want to address this to people who don't really know me or are assuming they do: "When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical."

So moving on...

My dear friends, readers, and everyone else who just stumbled upon my blog, let me just say, for the Nth time, that I am not being defensive and I am not being a smart-ass. I don't understand why some people question my morality/principles without even understanding where I am coming from. I really hate it when people say those things (behind my back or to my face), as if I am a criminal who has done something illegal against the constitution, when I don't ever intentionally hurt other people. I don't understand why others would even care to be involved in my personal life when I don't give a damn about theirs. Why is there so much controversy in my life? Why can't I be left alone loving the one person I consider my great love and vice-versa? Why all the drama???

If you don't believe what I say, then don't bother talking to me or even acknowledging my presence. We can forget about each other. Like pretend neither of us existed! I don't need people who try to show concern only to try to ruin everything good that's happening to me. Are you green with envy? Is that why you want me to become as miserable as you? Because in the first place, I don't think I'm violating anything. Am I? Then say so! If you have anything against me, bring that up instead of finding loopholes or ambiguities just so I will look bad.  Does it really make you happy to see people around you getting hurt? What kind of a monster person are you?

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you & help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth & make you wilt and die. So yeah, life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life. I'm not ranting, I'm simply trying to prove a point here. To each his/her own!