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Inihahandog ng De La Salle University-Green Media Group

As I have grown older I have come to learn compassion is something to mature into and is not readily acquired. Compassion is cultivated like the pearl that comes from an oyster. The pearl is refined in the darken womb of the oyster over time, as compassion is empathy cultivated through the exercise of lived experiences that have been overshadowed by the power and intensity that has been shaped and purified by the fire of pain. It becomes the ultimate expansion and expression of unselfish love. It is also the outreach of personal growth where adept wisdom is brought forth from the intiative self that sheds the light of heightened awareness that directly comes from the heart.

The expectation I learned in my youth was to be self-reliant and independent. Unknowingly my resentment would eventually grow into deep bitterness and anger. My animosity would take me years to reconcile and integrate. Through a lot of therapy, self-understanding and eventual maturity, I would start to unravel the frostbite of my past and my attitudes that had hardened through the years.

I have come to learn the very things I once most resented have become my greatest resource for learning from.Life weaves hidden messages within every situation. The task is deciphering the gift of those messages in-between the unread lines.

In life I have come to expect the unexpected. We are taught to live within pockets of comfort zones that truly, in the end, don't exist. My greatest stability in life must come from within myself

life is very, very precious, and i understand that nothing should ever be taken for granted. Resentment can still cut into me, reminding me like a good barometer, when I need my own space. Compassion is created by the harvest of a sound consciousness as it strives to understand the indifference, not just within the world, but also from within one's self. Now I understand the term, "My heart is full."

i wish i had Superman's silly red sheet that i may see the whole world without a fuss [no visas, no passport, no plane tickets, and all that]... i wish i were Ariel [you know, the one who sang, "Look at this stuff..." then, i wouldn't have to struggle learning how to swim]... i wish i were Cinderella [then, rats wouldn't scare the hell out of me]... i wish i were snow white ["to be the fairest one of all..."]... i wish i were Belle [and dance with the beast the whole night and tame his wounded heart]... i wish i were Rapunzel [then, i wouldn't have a bad hair day anymore]... i wish i were a caterpillar [but soon to metamorphose into a lovely butterfly. Well, just wanna know how it feels to change into something really different from what you are right now and embrace a new life]... i wish i were chloe sullivan in smallville series [wow, imagine me working in The Daily Planet! Hmmmmm -eyes rolling-]... i wish i were Martina Hingis [Wimbledon, oh-lala!]... i wish i were Anne Hathaway [now, im thinking for my next pose in my upcoming photo shoot]... i wish i were kelly clarkson [then, i wouldnt have to settle for my immobile and lifeless audience inside a four-walled room]... i wish i had Ate Anne's beauty and confidence [love's u cuz Oh my, the crown, the crown!]... i wish i had my anam cara's heart [and be always forgiving... Au, you always make me feel special]...i wish i had Sir Alex's or Ana Neri's flair in poetry [that i may finally finish my dream book]... at the extreme side, i wish i were the President [and declare martial law]... whatta!


and lastly, i wish i had aladdin's magic lamp and ask Gennie to wake me up and stop dreaming coz the sight of my pending works is burning a hole in my face...haha

“Don't worry, be happy..” kept resonating in my head. I kept playing Bobby McFerrin's cool and soothing voice paired with an infectious reggae beat that would make anyone tap his feet and bob his head to the tempo. Yet, these sounds coming out of my IPOD were not enough to quiet the different voices arguing in my mind.

The clock makes a funny sound similar to that of a Nokia ring tone. I look up and see that it is already midnight. I've been sitting here for only a couple of hours yet it seems that I have been waiting here for a week. They couldn't tell me anything yet. They do not know what is wrong with her. The doctor told me that the only thing that they could do for now was wait. He suggests that I do the same. I tried to, but God I hate waiting.

The room was bitterly cold, freezing even. My thick black sweater proved of little help in keeping me warm in this place that emits an extra chill that makes my right leg tremble. I am badly in need of a cigarette but somehow something is keeping me from stepping out of the room. My legs feel weak and numb and my hands refuse to stop shaking. My whole body is literally paralyzed and frozen.

Inaanyayahan ang lahat na dumalo sa paglulunsad ng nobelang Batbat hi Udan na isinulat ni T.S. Sungkit Jr. Ito ay gaganapin sa Pebrero 11, 2009, 5pm sa Boston Cafe Los Baños, College, Los Baños, Laguna.

Ang nobelang Batbat hi Udan ang kauna-unahang nobelang sinulat ng isang katutubong Higaonon. Para sa karagdagang detalye, maaaring bisitahin ang www.anijun.wordpress.com.

 

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!" - Bob Marley

At 23 and waddling through my so-called quarter-life crisis, I think it's now time to examine the characteristics that a quarter-life crisis may include (from Wiki) and analyze where I am at and how I am doing. Let's begin:

• Feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level - PASSED! I found a job I sooooo love and am planning to stick with it for a couple more years. (hmmm thinking again)
• Frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career - PASSED! Moved on from the call center industry then I got rid of people I don't need in my life and kept the ones I will cherish for all eternity.
• Confusion of identity - PROCESSING! Honestly, I still don't know why I am attracted to females more than the opposite sex. LOL! (kidding)
• Insecurity regarding the near future - DELIBERATING! Although I am quite compensated with my family in leyte, I still don't want to become the bread winner of my future family, so yeah... go figure.
• Insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals - PROCESSING! sigh***
• Insecurity regarding present accomplishments - Somehow I think this does not apply to me. Hmm.
• Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - PASSED! I got rid of the unwanted [shady] characters in my life and am enjoying the circle of friends I have as well as found my great love. Ayeee.
• Disappointment with one's job - CHALLENGED! Although, frustrations are inevitable when dealing with team members, I find it challenging to be able to get things done and right!
• Nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life - Hardly ever. The hospital world is a bitch, alright... but I wouldn't want to go through the pains and merciless taunting back in school.
• Tendency to hold stronger opinions - BINGO! "I think, therefore, I am." Sometimes I come out intimidating and rude just because I insist on my own beliefs and often I have to defend myself because people judge me so unfairly. Geez.
• Boredom with social interactions - N/A. With Facebook, Multiply, Friendster, and the rest of the cyberworld's social networking services, my cyber and real social lives are intact.
• Loss of closeness to high school and college friends - NO ISSUE HERE. I am still in contact with MOST of them... There were only 42 of us in high school and most of my college friends are basically, my Barks & Co. :)
  
• Financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) - PASSED! What a wise move it was to move own my own!!! No regrets here! I lived [independently] in Cebu for 9 years and I must say it was a great learning experience, financially-speaking. Now that I am leaving own my own, I can very well say it's the best decision I've ever made in my life, so far.
• Loneliness - CURABLE! I only experience this when Mike isn't around but, nevertheless, my Barks are with me . So I'm doing just fine.
• Desire to have children - WORKING ON IT! I never really thought making babies literally was difficult. Now I know timing is the key. God willing! I do want to have kids.
• A sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you - PASSED! I am so over this. This might be true for some; and now I can't help but feel that some are jealous of me and want to put me down. LOSERS!!! Well, it sucks to be them.

I have lived in the "real world" and I have felt blood rushing through my veins as I feel life's energy flow in and out of me. Winning and losing were never the issues. It's really about surviving. Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg. So true. And I just want to address this to people who don't really know me or are assuming they do: "When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical."

So moving on...

My dear friends, readers, and everyone else who just stumbled upon my blog, let me just say, for the Nth time, that I am not being defensive and I am not being a smart-ass. I don't understand why some people question my morality/principles without even understanding where I am coming from. I really hate it when people say those things (behind my back or to my face), as if I am a criminal who has done something illegal against the constitution, when I don't ever intentionally hurt other people. I don't understand why others would even care to be involved in my personal life when I don't give a damn about theirs. Why is there so much controversy in my life? Why can't I be left alone loving the one person I consider my great love and vice-versa? Why all the drama???

If you don't believe what I say, then don't bother talking to me or even acknowledging my presence. We can forget about each other. Like pretend neither of us existed! I don't need people who try to show concern only to try to ruin everything good that's happening to me. Are you green with envy? Is that why you want me to become as miserable as you? Because in the first place, I don't think I'm violating anything. Am I? Then say so! If you have anything against me, bring that up instead of finding loopholes or ambiguities just so I will look bad.  Does it really make you happy to see people around you getting hurt? What kind of a monster person are you?

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you & help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth & make you wilt and die. So yeah, life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life. I'm not ranting, I'm simply trying to prove a point here. To each his/her own!

 

 

Top Junk — high caliber music 
that inspires the youth and the not so young to live in the here and now and beyond…

 

Love, inspiration, sex, living alone, Cyber space, social networking, partying, breaking up, making up, friendship — these are the things disco punk band Top Junk sings about in a head-on collision with current events rocking today’s financial world. 

you and i together

on a sandy beach

i can just see

a twinkle in my eye

a happy face

a song in my heart

 

What is it about you that takes my breath away?

Is it your eyes that shine?

Is it your laugh that is so cheerful?